Today is the one year anniversary of my divorce. I don’t look at the anniversary as the end of the marriage, but the end of the battle.
Today, I honor what was, what is, and what will be. For a while, I believed that the 25 years was a lie. “He couldn’t have ever really loved me because X, Y and Z”, I thought.
Today, I feel differently. He was my playmate, my friend, and my love. And I believe we loved each other with however we were each able at the time.
I left the marriage, still in love. I just couldn’t keep fighting the war that I knew I’d never win.
It wasn’t lack of love. And it certainly wasn’t lack of trying. It took years to get to that point.
For me, It was a desire to live life to it’s fullest, to dream, to build, and to grow. The battle was stifling. I couldn’t move forward.
Sometimes, people grow in different directions and wind up wanting very different things. Sometimes, 2 people start out sharing a vision and wind up looking at the world very differently.
Today, I’m stronger for that choice. I’m still sad. And I’m happy.